carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
