She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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