Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize