Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
your like the ambassador to my penis.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
