I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
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I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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