We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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