She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
