Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize