your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize