We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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