I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
