i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
