i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
soo... how was my night?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
