What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
