So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize