Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I fill condoms, not promises.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
