I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize