i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
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That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
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Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?