Jerry, you need to find god
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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