hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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