I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just had sex on a roof
Everyone says I win the strip club
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize