I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?