How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize