She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
