did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize