I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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