Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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