i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize