I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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