im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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