one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize