You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
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You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
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You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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