Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
