i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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