Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I AM VODKA MAN
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize