I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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