where does the pee come out of this thing
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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