I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
