Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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