The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
