This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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