I hate your face
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Still dying that you shit outside
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
