youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants