Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Your dad touched me again.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
