What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
