i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My penis needs a shock collar
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize