He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.