ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.