so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize