Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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