we're blogging at a bar
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
MIDGETS
????
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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